Delightful vs. KCoolSweet

I had an interesting conversation with a good friend of mine about slangs and what they’re doing to the English language. It was a heated discussion, she being all for butchering the written and spoken word and it got messy (apple pie forks went flying) but in the end I won. Little did I know that my euphoria would last for all of two days. My teenage niece burst my bubble when I asked her about the absence of full stops in her five sentence long proclamation on Facebook and she told me “LOL it’s the 21^st writers need to go with it that means u 2”. As you can imagine, I felt like a decaying crypt keeper on a very hot day.

My opinion that Google is God’s cure for ignorance tends to lead me to places on the Net that even my weird world of dreams cannot possibly conjure. After getting over my shock and pondering what my younger friend and darling niece had said, I decided to do some surfing (cyber only—wet suits and my hips don’t go together). Lo and behold, I found out that my preference for grammatically correct sentences, draconian attention to punctuation and deep respect for the Oxford English Dictionary belong strapped to a wagon on its way to a quarry back in the days of the Roman Empire. Apparently, even Shakespeare paid more attention to slang than I do.

“…the use of slang is frequently ridiculed by culturally-ignorant people who feel it is the product of insufficient education and believe it to be counter-evolutionary; of course, they couldn't be farther from the truth. human language has been in a state of constant reinvention for centuries, and slang has been used and created by poets and writers of all sorts….it is the right and responsibility of the modern human to keep re-evaluating language, to give dead words innovative contemporary meanings or to simply invent new ones, in order to be more appealing and representative to the speaker/listener (which was essentially the basis behind language anyway, to understandably communicate thoughts or ideas verbally).”--UrbanDictionary.com

In other words, if I don’t want to be a member of a dying clan, I need to “pick up my game” or “get my weight up” or “Hustle”. Blurgh. Don’t get me wrong, I’m all for shortening words and leaving out my apostrophes on Facebook but aren’t books supposed to live on higher planes? Aren’t we writers supposed to preserve the beauty of literature by making magic come to life with words that don’t necessarily end with ‘ing’? (eg. planking, upcycling, tripping, flipping, hating, dissing and some other words that could get me banned from Blogdome. And then people go around slashing the real -ing words into –in’ words…apparently the sound of -g is taboo on Cool Planet.) So what happened? Wasn’t I the one walking around as a teenager with kidney-damaging jeans, mandatory Dock Martins and drumsticks pocking out of my back pocket? Did I grow up and become my English teacher?

I certainly hope not! It’s true: we need to go with the flow. Teenagers I meet normally love (heart) me and think I’m one “nasty-ass” (cool) adult. And when they say “adult”, I cringe and look behind me to see who they’re talking about. I gag at the mere mention of cauliflower and I think Eminem is one of the most brilliant composers alive. My eight year-old son boasts that his is the only mother who has watched all six episodes of Star Wars. Because of this need to live with one foot bouncing up and down at a David Guetta concert and one in the world of caviar and champagne, I tend to mix things up a little in my novels (Thank God for crossover genres!).

I try very hard to blend in the two worlds (Urban Dictionary vs Cambridge) because I fell off the young adult cliff awhile back but still squeal every time I hear the theme song of Harry Potter. It’s ok to grow up but I’ve learnt that a writer of YA (young adult) fiction needs to stay in focus and know his or her audience. You’re not going to convince General Grievous to buy your light saber unless you can prove that it once belonged to a Jedi!

Vampires Across the Globe

It is difficult to make a single, definitive description of the folkloric vampire, though there are several elements common to many European legends. Vampires were usually reported as bloated in appearance, and ruddy, purplish, or dark in colour; these characteristics were often attributed to the recent drinking of blood. Indeed, blood was often seen seeping from the mouth and nose when one was seen in its shroud or coffin and its left eye was often open. It would be clad in the linen shroud it was buried in, and its teeth, hair, and nails may have grown somewhat, though in general fangs were not a feature.--http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vampire

Anjeli Xavier, my protagonist in The Scarlet Omen, comes up against Malaysian vampires (Pontianak) on her adventures. They’re not as cultured as your everyday European vampire and certainly not as charming. The Pontianak don’t just leave a person drained yet whole. Not ones to waste, they eat whatever they can. In my novel, I’ve tried to keep it as authentic as possible to set my vampires apart from their Western counterparts but I’ve also attempted to beautify the whole process so as not to turn some Western stomachs into nervous contortionists. Let’s hope that I’ve succeeded.

I don’t want to give away too much about Lady Suriya and her blood drinkers, so let’s have a look at these ancient creatures from other parts of the globe.

Some international similarities: blood drinking (duh!), the undead, corpses that show little sign of decay, dislike for sunlight, origins as demons, can be destroyed by sharp objects, very pale skin (with the amount of blood they drink they should actually glow healthier than the rest of us, right?!), fangs, arithmomania (the need to count things—in Asia it’s rice, in Europe it’s poppy seeds), immortality, contagious bite.

Some interesting differences:

European vampires: well-groomed, sophisticated, brooding, alluring, rich, afraid of anything Christian.

Africa: iron-toothed, tree-dwelling, changes into insects or birds, ability to summon thunder and lightning, eats nail-clippings of the nobility (oh, come on!).

South America: practices black magic, takes the shape of a fireball, lives as a hermit during the day.

India: a head encircled with intestines, takes over corpses

Japan: can detach its head and travel away from body

Philippines: butterfly tongue and wings (don’t be deceived; these things are not cute!)

I find it fascinating that almost every culture has its own version of night demons. Vampires are as old as time. Is there then some truth to their existence? Or were they just made up to keep little children from wandering at night and naughty young women at bay? The Mesopotamians wrote about flesh eating creatures long before Brahm Stoker introduced us to the Count. The Ancient Greeks were discussing cannibal monsters way before Polidori raised his quill to create The Vampyre. Makes you wonder, doesn’t it?

As I’ve mentioned many times before, I grew up believing in all sorts of things. I’ve shed a few of the silly beliefs but have kept equally as many. There are things that we can’t see and things that we will never be able to fathom. If hundreds of cultures all believe in the same thing and have for thousands of years, who are we to say otherwise? I personally can’t imagine a real life Dracula but I wouldn’t put it past a few demons or fallen angels to have started a millennia-lasting cult by suddenly taking a liking to human blood (not to mention the occasional virgin or falling drunk into a nearby coffin and sleeping the day away). Legends do arise from truth, even if they get twisted down the line into handsome strangers with widow’s peaks who like their steaks practically grazing on the garnish.

To Sulk or not to Sulk

You know you’re having a bad day when you feel like hurling shoes at the lucky, small footed ladies at the shoe store, all the clothes you try on look like they’re from the kids’ section and the pharmacist discreetly hands you stomach flab reducing cream samples. It’s just one of those days filled with multiple paper cuts, streams of red traffic lights and broken heels. However, I often stop to wonder if my foul day could have anything to do with my foul mood. I wake up just knowing it's going to be one of those days that if something actually goes right, it would be a mere taunt from the universe. Did I jinx the day with my sunrise frown? Does a day seem worse than it is because of a bad mood?  

“Any art communicates what you're in the mood to receive.”--Larry Rivers, http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/keywords/mood.html#2avqTVhWI2eQiTGx.99

So are moods just a chemical reaction or do our surroundings have some influence on how we feel? I tend to be more on both extremes than ever in the middle (I truly envy those down-to-earth earthlings who seldom fall into crankiness). If I’m happy, the whole world gets to know about it and if it’s one of those days where I wish I really could perform magic and turn someone into a gnat, well let’s just say my friends have learnt to recognize the twitch and the bulging vein. Everyone has a bad day, but everyone also has equally good days, so despite being a pain, moods do colour our lives (my disclaimer for those who think that I'm dissing a part of nature).

What I’m interested in is exactly how vital moods are in a novel. When you think about it, the mood is everything. Character dialog, language, the way the sun hits the horizon at exactly the right angle—it all boils down to the Mood. Before creating a set, we need to set the mood. So is it possible to create convincing happy scenes in a novel if you feel like shoving the slow-poke cashier aside and scanning your stuff on your own at the supermarket? Can you put your soul into a heartbreaking moment when you’re personally nibbling grapes on lover’s cloud nine? I find it hard to sometimes. Theoretically, writers need to be able to leave their personal lives at the door when entering their made up world but I haven’t yet mastered the art of emotional stripping. I now leave happy scenes for a better day if I don’t feel good because I’ve found my supposedly happy chapters floating on sarcastic undercurrents at times.

Writing is basically wishful thinking: creating a world in which you would like to be, even if it’s just for a day. So it is possible that if you’re suffering from say IBS (Irritable Boyfriend Syndrome) to quote author Kathy Lette, you’d be able to create a lovely story about a couple who get it right. Or you may just learn something when your characters turn around and say, “No one’s perfect, so get a grip and quit nagging us to do your dirty work, Woman!” It could go either way. Whatever it is, I think the Mood is the most important thing in a novel. It’s the deciding factor of whether you lure your audience in with the dangling carrot of goose bumps or scare them away yawning with monotony. We don’t want our readers feeling like they’ve gone to bed with only a paper cut out of Brad Pitt, do we?

“In a mood of faith and hope my work goes on. A ream of fresh paper lies on my desk waiting for the next book. I am a writer and I take up my pen to write.”

--Pearl S. Buck quotes (American author, 1938 Nobel Prize for Literature, 1892-1973), http://thinkexist.com/quotes/with/keyword/mood/

Apps and Bellbottoms

Last year, my niece and nephew came to visit me. We were getting ready to go out and I wore my Guns and Roses hoodie and a pair of turquoise pants/jeans. My niece looked at me and said, “You look like an Auntie from the 70s.” (Auntie: Malaysian word for old fashioned, also used as a sign of respect, so it tends to get confusing when used in public) Needless to say, I was appalled—I wasn’t even thought of in the 70s. This year, people are stopping me on the streets to ask me where I bought my turquoise pants because dull colours are out. Suddenly, I’m in. Sayonara, Auntie status. So what happened? The gods on fashion Olympus (Paris, Milan, London and New York) are what happened. They decided that if you’re wearing pants, they need to shout, “Groovy, Baby!” And out of nowhere, my interesting pants are no longer embarrassing.

Trends. They’re apparently what makes the world go round (or oval or square, whatever’s IN at the moment). But why? I’ve been reading up on trends and I must say no one really wants to give an official statement about it. Most articles talk about the importance of trends and how you will forever be a social outcast if you don’t follow a certain trend but no one can tell me why we do it. From what I’ve read, it’s safe to deduce that people just need to fit in. When I was little there was a cartoon called Jem and the Misfits. Jem was the perfect girl and the misfits were the opposite with their crazy outfits and warrior make-up. I wanted to be a Misfit, but every week, we were brainwashed into believing that only Jem got the guy, fame and fortune while the Misfits either fell into a bucket of goo at the end or were booed off screen. So I had to go with Jem and her star shaped earrings.

The need to conform affects all of us, be it at work, school or with friends. I personally have a bunch of friends who have very little in common with each other, making my life always fun (My BFFs: The Intellectual, The Fitness Freak, The Fashion Diva, The Cosmetics Queen, The Health Expert and The Creature of the Night). We wear what we want as long as we look good and we don't care if we're being too loud in a restaurant. However, if you go shopping and the only thing hanging on the racks are leopard print tops (again because of MPLNY Olympus Convention 2011), you’re going to have to buy at least one. 

My only problem with trends is their significance in the literary world. At the moment, I write for young adults and everyone says that they’re the most "susceptible" to whatever’s new. So do I need to make sure that I mention social networking and Hipsters in my novels? (“Hipsters are a subculture of men and women typically in their 20's and 30's that value independent thinking, counter-culture, progressive politics, an appreciation of art and indie-rock, creativity, intelligence, and witty banter.”--http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=hipster)

 I don’t know. I personally believe that readers are constantly bombarded with these things everyday and would maybe like a break once in awhile. (Bring out the trumpets please) In comes my novel of a faraway land that runs on magic alone. Incorporating trends in a novel can get tricky, especially if the writer is trying to make their novel a timeless experience. (I don’t know if I like the image of someone picking it up in 20 years and saying, “Holy Fiber Glass! They still had Farmville in this.”)

Trends are great; they bring gusts of fresh air into our lives and stay until they get stale. Although I don’t religiously follow trends, I do like to check out what’s new and IN, simply because I might find something nice that I have never thought of wearing or doing before. In a way, trends help us decide what kind of people we are or would like to be. However, independent thinking is even better and I think that young adults are the best at this. If they follow trends, they do it with a passion that could put boot camp trainers to shame and if they decide to go their own way, they also do it with total conviction (hence the birth of the Hipsters). I love it! Be the best that you can be and follow your heart till there’s nothing left to follow. If someone has a problem with your Nerd glasses and floral pants, let them take it up with Vogue and co.

It is Written

“Destiny or fate is a predetermined course of events. It may be conceived as a predetermined future, whether in general or of an individual. It is a concept based on the belief that there is a fixed natural order to the cosmos.”—Wikipedia.com

“A predetermined course of events considered as something beyond human power or control.”-- http://www.thefreedictionary.com/destiny

As far back as humans can remember, there has always been the notion of destiny—the idea that our actions and their results have nothing to do with our own motivations or achievements. First it was the lightning and the Sun that determined if we ate that year, then the Great Goddess announced how many children we would have and then other Gods apparently wanted religious leaders to implement taxes. Now there are even comic book super heroes who determine how celebrities should spend their money. It’s all about destiny and fate and how much we like living in little boxes like lab mice. Why?

“…we perceive ourselves as passive victims of powers beyond our control, for which we take no personal responsibility. Accepting responsibility for those problems for which we are accountable is prerequisite to changing one's life. It is a matter of personal power: If we deny our power to engender destructive consequences, refusing responsibility for having, often unconsciously, done so, where will the power to creatively transform one's life and relationships come from? We are, for instance, clearly not responsible for our genes, nor the myriad physical and mental predispositions to which they render us vulnerable. Genetics are part of fate. But we are responsible for how we deal with our inherited biological and genetic makeup, and for doing what we can to cultivate our strengths and manage our vulnerabilities rather than exacerbating them through self-destructive lifestyles.”—Dr. Stephen Diamonds, Secrets of Psychotherapy (Part 6) : Fate, Destiny and Responsibility, http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/evil-deeds/200807/secrets-psychotherapy-part-6-fate-destiny-and-responsibility

So people just don’t like taking responsibility for things that happen around them? But how can we, when so much just happens, without us elbowing Fate in the stomach.

Writing a novel is a lot like playing around with destiny. The author decides the fate of his or her (or its) characters. The flow from Chapter One: The Apple Tree Blossomed till Chapter Thousand: He died…The End has all been predestined and John, Gina and Mr. Louis never really had a choice. A writer’s Plot has to concentrate on laying the foundation and the subsequent steps needed for Harald the Alien to realize the significance of the novel and his importance in cutting the right-coloured wire one second before his side wins. The plot + the events + character choices + some funny stuff = fulfilling literary Destiny.

However, once in awhile, something magical happens and authors have to rethink a pre-chosen course because their characters simply turn around and say, “I don’t think so.” (Insert head wiggle, Attitude and Z shaped, three point finger snaps here). This has happened to me in the past and I have to say I was thrilled. It’s nice to know that even in a world of your own making you can’t always control everything (and you still make Susan say LOL although you know she loathes it).

I believe in God so I pretty much hope that He’s got it all planned out up there. It might be either the incompetence to accept full responsibility or just sheer laziness but I like the idea of Him leading me toward fulfilling something—the reason why He put me here in the first place. I find it easier to accept many things if I know that nothing happens by chance. If I’m called a well-trained house pet just because I trust and believe in someOne greater, so be it. As long as I’m well fed and have pedigree hair, I’ll just lie in the sun and get my belly rubbed if you don’t mind.

Riff Raff!

Well, I never! Seriously, the last week has been an eye opener. I knew that bullying goes on in all levels of society: celebrities with each other about their weight or that someone purposely revealed too much leg at an event, the Mercedes owners dissing BMW drivers, real vampires making fun of their vegetarian counterparts and the list goes on. As long as robots don’t take over the world, there will always be bullying (unless they start comparing chips and the quality of steel nowadays then everything’s going to go down the drain). What is it that gives people the need to compare and degrade fellow humans?

“… The Stanford Prison Experiment (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stanford_prison_experiment) blindly divided a matched group into prisoners and guards. Students became bullies within a few hours; once they were given power and authority. Others became victims as they were stripped of their rights and dignity. This demonstrates one aspect of bullying. That anyone may become a bully or a victim. One common road to bullying is being a victim. It is part of human nature to mimic behavior. People who have themselves been victims are likely, given the chance, to become bullies. In some way, the bully may be retrieving that part of their soul that was lost when they were victims. Given the opportunity to bully another, people often repeat what was done to them. Victims who eventually bully may feel powerful and whole.”-- http://www.realpsychology.com/content/gps-parents-and-teachers/how-are-bullies-created

So it’s basically one’s need to feel important and if there are weaker people around to soak up the bashing, the better. Nice; what kind of world are we bringing our kids into?! Anyway, despite knowing all this, I was rather shocked by my findings in an author’s forum last week (no names shall be mentioned because that would be bullying too although I really wish I could). I would never have thought that bullying would find a foothold in the literary world. Aren’t writers supposed to be above social levels and materialism? Or have I been living in a dream world till now about my chosen path? (The clouds opened up, the heavenly choirs reached the peak of their beauty and then it all crumbled in one big fat author’s chat room!)

So here’s the story (disclaimer of the highest sort--I DON’T SHARE THIS OPINION): Many published authors look down on self-published authors and don’t really want their work associated with such “riff raff”. Well, well! As I’m an author with a publisher by my side, I don’t really have to worry about these better than thou writers. I shouldn’t feel personally affected, but I do! Who gives them the right to decide if someone’s work is good enough without reading it first? A writer is someone who uses the written word to express opinions, emotions and ideas. No one should judge how he or she goes about it and no one should have the right to draw lines in the lit world (unless Shakespeare comes back and tries, then that’s another thing).

I’m probably upset by this because I’m still a minnow in this world of tiger sharks and sperm whales and have no idea how things work. But what happened to the beauty of just writing and living in another world despite the fact that you’re actually scribbling from the back seat of your car cum living room? How did it become a power play of he’s better because he’s got BLAH BLAH doing his marketing for him? Seriously, I’d rather hang out with the cool, indie, self-published authors than the stuck ups who think their better because they’ve got MR BIG publishing their book (and all this for 10% of sales, mind you). I’m probably making myself super unpopular with the leviathans of the publishing industry with this but it’s my diary and I’ll spill if I want to. Writers rule: if there is even one person who wants to read your stuff than you’ve done it!! Don’t let them tell you otherwise.

Matters of the Heart

Most novels have some sort of relationship tango or other—be it platonic, family relations, in the work environment, at school or in a romantic setting. We all love a good story where two people meet, fall in love and live happily ever after. But is that really how it works?

“There are many kinds of relationships and a given kind may fit a given person or couple at one stage of development but not at another. Driven by our personal history, we choose partners who help us meet our present needs, fulfill our expectations, and if we're lucky, work through our issues and grow in the directions in which we need to grow. For a person or couple, recognizing this can open doors to a broader spectrum of ways of being with ourselves and each other.”—Victor Daniels, ‘Patterns of Relationships’, http://www.sonoma.edu/users/d/daniels/lynch.html

I place a lot of emphasis on Love in my novels simply because I think there is no point waking up in the morning if there isn’t someone worth waking up for (and I don’t mean only romantically—friends and family are as important as a partner, maybe even more so). However, ever so often, I stumble onto a scene where I’m not sure if the characters should fall in love right away, or if she needs to find out if he snores first before handing her heart over to the walrus. Novels show us that love at first sight happens but is it really love or simply infatuation (or other more R-rated stuff)?

“Most of us have some kind of idea in our minds about how a "good" or "correct" relationship is supposed to be. We can cause ourselves needless distress by comparing our own relationships with such an idea of what a relationship "should be like" and then concluding that our own is defective by comparison. Psychologists may imply something of that sort when they formulate criteria for a "healthy relationship" which few real couples ever meet.”—Victor Daniels, (source as above).

As a writer, I want my characters to believe in the intensity of that first meeting—of someone tripping over their own feet in awe of another person. Love is such a wonderful notion. How many of us sighed when Ewan McGregor first sang with Nicole Kidman on the roof top of the Moulin Rouge? Why did we cry when Harry Potter first kissed Cho Chang? What makes our hearts race every time we hear the theme song of Titanic? All these people hardly even knew each other and yet we cheered for their discovery of cupid’s arrow sticking out of their cheeks (Author’s note: For my more blur readers, cheek here has nothing to do with their faces). I suppose it’s those things we call Drama and Theatrics running along beside us with their fake swords and love letters.  We read to enlighten ourselves but also to escape our sometimes dreary world. If I wanted reality I could just sit outside my neighbour’s window and watch her and her husband eating their chips and dozing off on the sofa to Who Wants to be a Millionaire (yes, I know this for a fact).

So what can a writer do to make sure that the feelings between two characters are real enough to be believable and yet Hollywood enough to make us wish the story was about us?  I guess that’s yet another thing I’ll just have to find out on this adventure that I’ve set out on. Hope it doesn’t take too long though, because I really don’t want to live in a novel where Love has to be measured in how many times he takes the trash out without being shouted at first.