Most novels
have some sort of relationship tango or other—be it platonic, family relations,
in the work environment, at school or in a romantic setting. We all love a good
story where two people meet, fall in love and live happily ever after. But is
that really how it works?
“There are many kinds of relationships and
a given kind may fit a given person or couple at one stage of development but
not at another. Driven by our personal history, we choose partners who help us
meet our present needs, fulfill our expectations, and if we're lucky, work
through our issues and grow in the directions in which we need to grow. For a
person or couple, recognizing this can open doors to a broader spectrum of ways
of being with ourselves and each other.”—Victor Daniels, ‘Patterns of
Relationships’, http://www.sonoma.edu/users/d/daniels/lynch.html
I place a
lot of emphasis on Love in my novels simply because I think there is no point
waking up in the morning if there isn’t someone worth waking up for (and I
don’t mean only romantically—friends and family are as important as a partner,
maybe even more so). However, ever so often, I stumble onto a scene where I’m
not sure if the characters should fall in love right away, or if she needs to
find out if he snores first before handing her heart over to the walrus. Novels
show us that love at first sight happens but is it really love or simply
infatuation (or other more R-rated stuff)?
“Most of us have some kind of idea in our minds about
how a "good" or "correct" relationship is supposed to be.
We can cause ourselves needless distress by comparing our own relationships
with such an idea of what a relationship "should be like" and then
concluding that our own is defective by comparison. Psychologists may imply
something of that sort when they formulate criteria for a "healthy
relationship" which few real couples ever meet.”—Victor Daniels, (source
as above).
As a writer, I want my
characters to believe in the intensity of that first meeting—of someone
tripping over their own feet in awe of another person. Love is such a wonderful
notion. How many of us sighed when Ewan McGregor first sang with Nicole Kidman
on the roof top of the Moulin Rouge? Why did we cry when Harry Potter first
kissed Cho Chang? What makes our hearts race every time we hear the theme song
of Titanic? All these people hardly even knew each other and yet we cheered for
their discovery of cupid’s arrow sticking out of their cheeks (Author’s note:
For my more blur readers, cheek here has nothing to do with their faces). I
suppose it’s those things we call Drama and Theatrics running along beside us
with their fake swords and love letters.
We read to enlighten ourselves but also to escape our sometimes dreary
world. If I wanted reality I could just sit outside my neighbour’s window and
watch her and her husband eating their chips and dozing off on the sofa to Who
Wants to be a Millionaire (yes, I know this for a fact).
So what can a writer do to
make sure that the feelings between two characters are real enough to be
believable and yet Hollywood enough to make us wish the story was about
us? I guess that’s yet another thing
I’ll just have to find out on this adventure that I’ve set out on. Hope it
doesn’t take too long though, because I really don’t want to live in a novel
where Love has to be measured in how many times he takes the trash out without
being shouted at first.
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